Off The Rails
by mystifyre
Summary: A tragic childhood accident. One fateful mistake. It's what Ashley has been trying to run from all these years. But when a familiar face appears at the yard, history starts to repeat itself. Can she face and fight the demons of her past and finally break free or will it be the start of her undoing?
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: So, this fic is focused on the sass-wagon that is Ashley! I wanted to explore her background a bit more, figuring the fact she is able to give such sound advice to Dinah suggests she has experience to draw upon and these experiences shaped her into the sassy coach we've come to love. The overall theme of this fic is darker than my previous works and although I don't plan to be very graphic, I will give warning where it's due prior to each chapter._

 _A big thanks to Zabbie Q for her invaluable help and advice throughout this writing process and for Beta-reading this 'fic!_

 _This 'fic also introduces my very first OC, Lincoln the diesel._

 _This first chapter is set before the initial events of my one-shot fic "Got Your Back". Ashley is around eight years old.  
_

 _As always, I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

"You're not scared, are you?"

Ashley was certain he already knew the answer. He could probably hear her heart pounding furiously in her chest or see the flash of panic and vulnerability in her eyes as she peered into the great black void in front of her. Just moments prior, she had been full of enthusiasm and conviction, yet that had all but now deserted her. There was no backing out now. Not unless, that is, she wanted to look like a baby in front of him.

It had been Lincoln's idea to come to the disused mining tunnel. The coal steamers had abandoned the shaft years ago after the coal industry began to decline, and the tunnel was deemed unstable and unsafe. Demand for coal had fallen with the rise in prominence of diesel locomotives and power stations had started switching to gas or biomass to produce electricity, meaning the tunnels had fallen redundant. Nowadays, according to Lincoln, the tunnel was seen as a right of passage of sorts: all the young trains had to complete the dare before they'd be accepted into his gang. The dare entailed each train to enter the tunnel to see who could go the furthest, marking their spot on the wall with a piece of chalk. All the popular trains, like Greaseball and Troy, had placed their mark in that very tunnel. Nobody knew how far it stretched as no locomotive had ever reached the end or – as rumours went – no one had ever emerged from its depths after reaching it. At the thought, a shiver ran down Ashley's spine.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea…" mumbled Hector the steamer beside her as if reading her thoughts.

Hector, renowned for his nervous disposition, had always been shunned by the other trains. He was lanky, with unkempt and often unruly blonde hair under a dusty red hat and round spectacles and although a kindred soul, wasn't the sharpest tool in the box. His clumsiness often landed him in trouble or made him the butt of jokes. He had apparently found some solace in that Ashley also had no friends and he had resorted to following her around like a lost puppy. Ashley had sympathised, knowing how lonely it felt, and therefore didn't protest him tagging along everywhere – he did provide some company after all – although she often found his constant presence irritating. She presumed Lincoln had simply invited him along to the dare as a courtesy, pitying the loner who clung to the girl like a shadow. He retreated several steps back behind her now for reassurance.

Lincoln gave a wry smile, eyeing the girl as if to see how she would react. The smooth-talking diesel seemed to have made it his mission to help the two young outcasts by taking them under his wing. With his slicked-back jet black hair and muscular frame, all the girls worshiped him and his equally popular partner-in-crime Greaseball. Ashley couldn't believe her luck when the diesel had approached her, having witnessed her classmates taunting her in the canteen. She had grown accustomed to the daily torment. Her peers had been quick to notice her mother was a smoking car, and ever since she couldn't even roll down the track to class without one of the girls turning their head, nose wrinkled, to comment "Ew, what's that foul smell?" followed by a torrent of laughter. However, one day that laughter had been silenced when Lincoln had swaggered over to Ashley's table and said "Mind if I join you, Ash?" before sitting beside her to eat lunch. _Those stupid girls will think twice about mocking me when they see me hanging out with Lincoln after today_ , she thought. There was no way she was going to chicken out of a dare in front of him now. This was her chance to finally prove herself worthy of being accepted. At that, she turned to face him, gave a frown and shook her head vigorously.

"I'm not scared!" she retorted, in her most confident voice. She turned her attention back to the entrance of the tunnel with her best poker face. "It's only darkness."

Lincoln grinned. "That's my girl! Now, you know the deal." He bent down and rested his hand on her shoulder, making Ashley's heart skip with a sudden excitement. "Let's see which one of you is brave enough to go the furthest."

As they approached the tunnel entrance, however, a sudden noise in the woods behind them caused all three trains to freeze. Ashley exchanged a look with Lincoln, who looked equally tense. They couldn't afford to be caught. He turned to his protégées. "Stay here, I'm gonna make sure there's nobody around. We don't want any trouble…"

At that, the two young trains were left alone. Ashley gave Hector a shy smile, unsure of what to say. Thankfully – and quite surprisingly – Hector was quick to initiate conversation.

"Don't worry, Ashley. My Grandpa was one of the old mine steamers. He still tells me all the stories, and he's been teaching me the songs the miner's used to sing to keep their spirits up in the dark." Ashley saw his brown eyes wander back to the tunnel, as if trying to imagine his grandfather working into its dark depths. It seemed to provide him with some comfort because his manner changed, and he adjusted his glasses with a chipper smile. "Although I won't dare tell him, I'd like to be able to go far and leave my mark for him."

Ashley gave a nod of approval. "I'm sure he'd be proud of you if he knew!" she said, before giving a nervous giggle. "We could get into big trouble if we get caught."

"It'll be worth it all if it means everyone will stop picking on us though! Just think, Ashley!" Hector's face brightened and Ashley could tell he was thinking about finally having more friends, of having the other engines be impressed by his show of bravery.

Ashley couldn't deny the giddy feeling the thought brought too. All she had ever wanted was to have the other girls to play with; to help her plait her hair and wear pretty dresses with.

Ashley heard the sound of wheels, and she turned to see Lincoln returning from the woods with a satisfied expression. "No adults in sight. Must have been an animal." he shrugged. "Right, let's get the show on the road!"

Hector gulped loudly, not even trying to conceal his nerves in that moment as he cast Ashley a sideward glance before he slowly stepped forward, preparing to light up his firebox to give him a boost.

"Hey, steamer!" Lincoln folded his arms, unimpressed. "Don't go lightin' up that firebox of yours now! This should be fair and square!" He jabbed a thumb at Ashley. "The little lady doesn't have engine power, does she?"

Hector sighed, his shoulders sagging in disappointment. Ashley knew the power from his firebox always gave him more confidence as well as providing him with more strength and energy. She gave him a sympathetic look, but these were Lincoln's rules. After just a few steps, he was swallowed by the darkness.

Ashley waited a few moments to give him a head start before she too tentatively made her way into the mouth of the shaft. As she entered, she could hear the echo of Hector's clattering wheels as they faded away. Being a fair distance ahead, she hoped she wouldn't stumble and slip down a steep hill and end up needing him to pull her out. What became apparent first was the eerie, musty chill that emanated from the walls and settled in the tunnel, causing the girl to start shaking. As she moved further in, the stagnant tunnel, devoid of all light and life, became more and more stifling and uncomfortable. She reached out to the touch the wall to guide her, feeling the crumbly, damp rock as she glided her hand along, the dusty residue clinging to her fingers. Her eyes scoured for any hint of direction, or even a glimpse of Hector, but she couldn't see anything. It was as if a black veil had been placed over her eyes, and she was beginning to find it unnerving. Then, she heard the faint sound of whimpering.

"Hector?" she called out.

"Ashley, I…I don't think I can go any further…" the young steamer's nasally voice quivered somewhere ahead of her.

"It's OK, Hector. You've got really far!" Ashley offered some words of encouragement, keeping her voice bright. "You don't have to go any further if you don't want to."

Her words were met by a sob. "I keep hearing things….I think I'm lost. I wish I could light my fire."

Ashley bit her lip. "Just stay where you are, and I'll come and find you."

She continued to move forwards, carefully minding her footing on the uneven ground as she blindly followed the rail of the mine track with her wheels. As her hand continued to brush against the cold wall, she noted there seemed to be large chips now flaking off and brushing her legs. She delved her free hand into her dress pocket on instinct and realised there was something rattling inside. It felt like rough cardboard, and Ashley suddenly remembered the box of matches her mother had given her. Excitedly, she began to pull it out.

Suddenly, there was a loud rumble that reverberated throughout the tunnel.

"What was that?" Hector squealed.

Ashley stopped in her tracks as another rumble pulsed through the tunnel, followed by deep tremors under her feet. This was not good. As she pushed herself closer to the wall, there was a loud crack as a deluge of dust and sand fell onto her head. The rocks were shifting. Too scared to move and disorientated in the pitch black, Ashley crouched down and curled up into a ball, clamping her eyes shut and praying for it to stop. She blindly fumbled for her match box, hoping she could at least light one so she could see. But as more dust and debris surrounded her she felt the cardboard box slip from her hand. Her head screamed for her to get out. Heart hammering, she forced herself to her feet and turned to make her way back to where she thought she'd come from. But as she did, her hands met solid, cool rock; her exit was blocked. She was trapped. Now, she found it hard to breathe. It felt like the walls were folding in on her.

"Lincoln!" she shrieked, not caring that she was now crying hysterically. "Lincoln, help!"

A sudden flicker of light between the cracks of rock startled her but gave her hope as she noticed a gap in the wall blocking her way out. In seconds, Lincoln's face appeared, and he shone his flashlight through the crack, momentarily dazzling Ashley's vision and making her self-consciously wipe away her tears. The light disappeared, before she heard the diesel engine grunting as he used brute force to push the fallen boulders. Ashley watched as the gap grew bigger and she didn't hesitate to take the opportunity. She squeezed herself through, and Lincoln grabbed her wrist. Together they bolted back up the track to the exit. In seconds, they burst into the warm spring air. Ashley stumbled to the ground, blinded by the sudden burst of light. As her eyes began to adjust, she realised her hands were covered in a fine layer of dirt and dust, her knees grazed. She whirled her head around to the mouth of the tunnel. There was no sight or sound of Hector. As she shakily got to her feet, brushing herself off, she noticed Lincoln racing ahead to leave out of the corner of her eye.

"Wait, Lincoln!" She cringed at how small and pitiful her voice sounded, a far cry from the confident girl she had tried to be earlier in an effort to impress him.

When he didn't acknowledge her, she raced to catch him up, grabbing his arm with more force than she intended.

"What about Hector? We can't just leave him! We need to go back!"

Lincoln flinched at the girl's grip. Suddenly, he whipped around and snatched her wrist, making her gasp. "Listen to me and don't be a baby!" he snarled, his eyes narrowed. "We can't go back! And if anyone finds out that we were here, there will be serious consequences. Do you know what happens to trains who trespass? They get burnt on the scrapheap as punishment! You don't want that, do you?"

Ashley's eyes grew wide in horror, shaking her head vehemently, tears springing from her eyes once more.

Lincoln tightened his grip on her wrist to emphasise the seriousness of the situation. "You need to swear you'll not tell anyone that we were here, got it? We were **never** here."

Speechless, Ashley could only nod.

Then, the diesel leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"I won't tell if you don't."

* * *

Two days later, Ashley had rolled into the kitchen for breakfast and found her mother looking desolate and hopeless as she sat at the table, nursing a cup of coffee. Something was wrong. She had watched as her mother had lifted her eyes to meet hers, pulled out a seat next to her and patted it gently to summon her to join her.

"Come and have a seat, sweetheart. I have something to tell you."

Ashley had zoned in and out as her mother told her about Hector. How after an extensive search around the school, the woodlands, and the areas near Hector's home, the police had discovered him in his grandfather's old tunnel...that they'd ruled out any foul play…a tragic accident. She explained how Hector had been known to be a lonely boy who had a tendency to wander off alone and he had simply gone into the tunnel to explore in curiosity and had got trapped when the unstable ceiling had caved in and he had perished. The abandoned tunnel should have been sealed years ago.

The tears came quick and easy for Ashley. Just hearing how Hector had been found made her sick to her stomach. He had died alone, all alone in that cold, unforgiving darkness. He had been so frightened and they had simply left him. But what her mother thought were simply tears of grief for a tragic accident that had claimed the life of one of her classmates was secretly so much more. Ashley was wracked with guilt; she had failed Hector. She shouldn't have listened to Lincoln; she should have gone back to help. She should have been braver. She'd even lost the pack of matches nestled in the pocket of her dress; a habit her mother had instilled upon her as soon as she came of school age. If she'd remembered sooner, perhaps she could have given Hector a match to light his firebox and he would have been able to save himself?

In that moment, she desperately wanted to blurt our that she'd been there, that she had been in the tunnel too when the ceiling had collapsed. But she had sworn to secrecy. _Do you know what happens to trains who trespass? They get burnt on the scrapheap as punishment! You need to swear you'll not tell anyone that we were here!_

No, her mother could never know. So she stayed silent, simply burrowing her head in her hands. And in her head, all she could hear was Hector's desperate pleas for help, even long after she and Lincoln had ran away.

* * *

Ashley gasped as her eyes flew open, the echoing of Hector's cries still ringing in her ears. For a moment she lay paralysed, unable to move as her mind slowly detached from her dream. Instead, she concentrated on bringing her erratic heart under control as it pounded in her chest. Feeling her muscles relax as she was released from her dreaming state, she hastily wiped away stray tears before she carefully disentangled herself from between Buffy and Dinah as they continued to sleep soundly, being careful to not move the quilt they were sharing. Pearl had invited them over for a sleepover, and Ashley, knowing that nightmares had ravaged her sleep more often than not lately, had been reluctant to go, but she had felt inclined after seeing how excited the first class car was.

Gazing out of the window as she lit a cigarette, all she could feel was guilt and fear. It had been years ago and yet that fateful day still haunted her. It had been the start of a spiraling mess. She could never have known Hector's death would be the catalyst for so much more. And Lincoln, well, he was history. History she never wanted to revisit.

Ashley pressed her head against the window, finding the coldness comforting and numbing in equal measure. She just wanted this hell to end.

All she wanted was to be free.

* * *

 _*I'd like to think that Ashley, despite being bullied, wanted to be a smoking car just like her mum. She's mentioned as "the last one in the land" in the musical so I'd like to think she took over from her mum and became renowned for being the last smoking car in the country._

 _I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please feel free to review or send me a PM with your comments._


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Notes: So, without further ado, here is chapter 2! Things are about to get interesting..._

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

"Hey, what happened to you this morning?" Buffy sidled up to Ashley as she went to clock in, an eyebrow raised in concern. "We were worried about you."

After waking up from her nightmare, Ashley knew that sleep would continue to evade her and had decided to slip out for a long walk to try and clear her head. She had taken the sweeping scenic rail route up to the nearby lake; a place she had grown to love and seek out for its solace and tranquility. Nestled amongst the dense forest, the lake, stretching out like smooth glass to the horizon, was so serene and quaint that it made a perfect refuge when the dark corners of her mind started to seep in and consume the light. For hours, the smoking car had simply sat and gazed out at the view. The solidarity and the stillness of the lake had brought a great sense of calm back to her, like the pure water had cleansed her mind and body. There, she didn't have a care in the world. For those precious few hours alone, it had almost felt like time had stood still. There had been no worries, no fears. Everything had been perfect.

By the time the sun had risen, she'd had just enough time to drop by her depot before clocking in, even though she knew she'd have an hour or so left to kill in the communal hall before work began. She had dumped her overnight bag, having hastily changed into her clothes for the day ahead before leaving Pearl's and grabbed a granola bar, despite not being remotely hungry for breakfast. A quick glance in the mirror after splashing her face with water had reminded her to apply some make up to try and mask the dark circles under her eyes and make herself look a little less like the walking zombie she felt like: the lack of sleep had finally caught up with her, and she was now feeling worse for wear. Her mind felt foggy and sluggish; everything was a huge effort. Even focusing on what Buffy had just said was a challenge to decipher. Absent-mindedly, Ashley reached for a cigarette, swearing under her breath as she singed her finger as she fumbled to light a match.

"Oh, I uh…didn't feel very well and I didn't want to wake any of you…" The smoking car waved a hand dismissively, trying to keep things casual. "I'm fine now: just a thumping headache. I went home and slept it off."

 _More like a personal, metaphorical headache_ , she thought to herself as she took a deep drag. If only it could be as simple to sleep off. Or, in fact, to get any sleep at all.

Propping herself against the lockers behind her, Buffy tilted her head as she folded her arms, seemingly unconvinced. "You've been having a lot of them lately. Have you been to see one of the repair trucks about it?"

When Ashley didn't respond, eyes cast to the ground, Buffy gave her a playful nudge. "I know what will make you feel better," she teased. "Your signore arrives today."

At the mention of her Italian sweetheart, Ashley visibly brightened, her cheeks blushing as she lifted her head to reveal a smile. Espresso, one of the handsome of the Nationals, was the famous luxury express train from Italy, providing the most reliable – and arguably most comfortable - service between Milan and Rome. Ashley had inevitably fallen head over heels in love with the Settebello after they were unexpectedly paired together for last year's races. Despite failing to qualify for the finals, the pair had secretly been thankful for the elimination as it gave them some extra time together before Espresso had to return home. They had exchanged letters throughout the year, Espresso frequently grumbling about his noisy, ignorant passengers, which made Ashley laugh, all the while both proclaiming their love for one another. A few months prior, in March, Espresso had surprised the smoking car with a short visit for her birthday, in which he had showered her with gifts. They had spent those few precious days together out by the lake, where they would pack a picnic and simply enjoy each other's company. Over strawberries and cream, they had exchanged stories and laughs, and Ashley had divulged some selective tidbits of her past with Lincoln, just enough to show Espresso she trusted him. On his last day, they had shared a kiss, something Ashley had never forgotten. It had left her breathless; she could still recall how her heart had raced as his lips touched hers, how butterflies had filled her stomach. It was something she hadn't experienced in a long time and something, she had realised, she had missed.

"I'm just hoping he brings one of his six bachelor brothers," joked Buffy, giving a smirk. "If he cares about them as deeply as he professes, surely he'd bring at least one of them with him so the Italian love can be shared around, right, Ash?"

Ashley giggled, giving her friend a playfully smack on the arm. She could feel her earlier worries of Hector and Lincoln melt away as thoughts of being reunited with her love filled her head. The blast of an air horn heralded the Nationals' arrival, and a small congregation of trains began gathered at the entrance to the hall. Ashley, feeling her heart soar with excitement, grabbed Buffy's hand as she lead them closer to watch the trains as they rolled in. Each year, with a lot of fanfare and celebration, the National trains from around the world gathered four weeks prior to the famous races to train with their partners in a hope of being hailed champion.

Ashley watched as two diesels pulled in the Nationals. She noted the arrivals: Hashamoto the Shinkansen bullet train from Japan, Turnov the Russian Trans-Siberian Express, Ruhrgold the German ICE train, to name a few. And there, clad in his familiar yellow suit, was Espresso! As the trains came to a stop, Ashley dashed forward to go to greet him, but not before one of the diesels at the front removed his helmet to reveal his face.

Ashley froze in her tracks, her face turning ghostly pale. No, it couldn't be…

"Ash?" Buffy, having witnessed the smoking car stop abruptly, rolled up beside her, giving her shoulder a nudge.

But Ashley could only point. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Buffy's hesitation as she also took a double take. They both looked on as Greaseball eagerly approached the diesel, giving him a high five.

"Lincoln, you old dog!" he cried, loud enough for Ashley to hear. "It's been years! What are you doing here?"

Seeing Greaseball after so many years proved to be a pleasant – and somewhat awkward – surprise for Lincoln. They'd been close friends at school and throughout their teenage years. However, they'd broken contact after that one eventful summer, and Lincoln transferred to a different state. The last time he'd seen Greaseball, he'd had a pretty blue coach catering to his every whim, and Lincoln noted, with interest, the very same coach still stood by his side, a protective arm on his shoulder. But even after all these years, Lincoln had kept tabs on his old buddy. He'd not missed the glorified headlines in the newspapers of his embarrassing fall from grace, the crushing defeat from none other than a rusty steamer in last year's Nationals. It had both stunned him and made him cringe. And it also made him realise he had a chance. This was his opportunity and he had to seize it.

"Well, let's just say I'm always out looking for a new challenge," Lincoln grinned, flashing his teeth which had managed to stay pearly white after all these years.

* * *

He said something else, but Ashley could not hear him. The room around her began to spin and she forced herself to lean against the lockers for support as she felt her legs grow weak and threaten to buckle beneath her.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Buffy blinking wildly, before quickly recovering, immediately on the defence, fists clenched at her sides. "What the hell is he doing here?" she growled through gritted teeth.

It was the same question Ashley was asking herself. _This isn't happening. Surely I must still be dreaming._ Trembling, she lifted her cigarette to her mouth and made herself take another drag in a desperate effort to calm herself as her heart pounded in her chest, her cheeks flushing. She had the overwhelming desire to run and freeze at the same time. Part of her wanted Buffy to go in all guns blazing to deter him, but another wanted the buffet car to remain inconspicuous and not draw any attention to her. All she wanted was the ground to swallow her up as she continued to stare.

* * *

All the while, beside Greaseball, Dinah was equally as stunned as Ashley and Buffy. Anxiously pulling at her blue skirt, she cast a glance back towards her friends, and seeing an opportunity to subtly leave the group whilst Lincoln and Greaseball were engrossed in race chit-chat, she quietly rolled over to them.

"I need to go," Ashley stammered, visibly now in total fight or flight mode. She frantically looked for an alternative way out. "I can't…I can't do this."

As Ashley made to leave, Dinah grabbed the smoking car's hand and pulled her back.

"Ash, look at me," Dinah begged, trying to calm her and be the voice of reason in her moment of panic. She wasn't used to seeing this side to Ashley: the vulnerable, fragile girl from their childhood. It was usually so well disguised under the confident, sassy façade that the smoking car was renowned for at the yard. When Ashley didn't move, Dinah gave the coach's hand a reassuring squeeze. Finally, Ashley turned to meet her friend's gaze, desperate tears welling in her eyes. She was terrified.

"If you are ever going to put this all behind you, you need to be the one to stand up against him," Dinah said gently. "I know it's hard, but you can't run away forever."

But it seemed the overriding fear in the smoking car was too overpowering, pushing her away. Ashley jerked away from Dinah and dashed through the back exit, almost knocking Pearl off her feet with the door in her haste.

Ashley couldn't outrun her past no matter how hard she tried. The past always found a way of catching up.

Bewildered, Pearl looked to Dinah and Buffy. "What's all that about?"

The two older coaches exchanged grim looks.

"Well…" began Buffy, but she hesitated.

Dinah bit her lip. Where did she begin?

* * *

Shaking, Ashley rushed to take refuge in her depot, thinking only of burying herself under the safety and comfort of her covers and shutting out the world. Her vision blurred by her tears, she didn't notice the yellow train coming her way under it was too late and she collided into the oncoming vehicle.

"What's the matter, Tesoro mia?"

A huge sense of relief and happiness suddenly washed over her as she looked up into the deep brown eyes of Espresso, and she allowed herself to gratefully fall into his arms, quickly brushing away her tears. Burying her head into his shoulder pad, she found comfort in the security of his strong arms as he wrapped them gently around her.

"It's nothing, I'm fine," she reassured, using the opportunity to count to ten to calm herself. "Just some silly girly stuff with Buffy…that's all."

She was relieved when Espresso didn't question her further, seemingly satisfied that a silly spat had caused her tears. As she pulled back, bridkly wiping her eyes, she gave him a genuine smile; she was delighted to see him.

"I think you owe me a kiss after all these months!" she giggled playfully, holding his hands.

Memories of her first kiss with the Italian came flooding back as he leaned in. In that moment, it had felt like the whole world had faded away and right now, she found herself yearning for that moment of escapism where the world stood still.

As his lips parted and he pulled away, Ashley threw her arms around him.

"I've missed you," she whispered into his ear.

* * *

As the rest of the Nationals settled into their temporary depots before training started the next morning, Ashley and Espresso retreated to a cosy corner of Dinah's diner to catch up over breakfast. Ashley had acknowledged Dinah's look of concern as they rolled in with a reassuring smile; she was glad that seemed to be enough to keep her friend from worrying as she watched her sidle up to the table to greet Espresso.

"Nice to see you back for another racing season, 'Spress," the dining car smiled, pouring them both some coffee from her coffee maker.

"Ah, you have missed me, Miss Dinah!" the Italian flashed his best smile as Ashley shook her head in mock disbelief. "But I had to return so I could see my love. The races are as good an excuse as any to come."

As Dinah and Espresso shared pleasantries, Ashley took the opportunity to cast her eyes around the diner and noticed Serena, the first class coach, giving her a smile from a couple of tables away. She returned the smile, giving a small wave. Serena was good friends with Pearl and had come to watch the National races this year to cheer on Greaseball. Pearl said she had a crush on just about all the Nationals and was really here to try and catch herself a handsome train.

When Dinah rolled back towards her counter, Ashley reached over the table and took the Italian's hand in hers, her other hand propping up her head as she stared at him lovingly.

"So, you must be glad to have a break from your rude passengers?" she smiled.

Espresso rolled his eyes dramatically. "Ugh, they are just the worst! And it's made even more torturous with summer in its peak; nothing makes people more irate than the scorching heat of summer."

Ashley chuckled. "I'd love to see Italy. I hear it's a beautiful country."

"Well," the Italian train sat back in his seat, "I might be biased, but it is a wonderful country. You would love it. You should let me take you sometime, bella mia. I could show you around all the sights."

Espresso leaned in close, the idea evidently filling him with excitement. "Once this year's race is finished, we should go! Just think, bella mia! Just you and me."

The idea of escaping the yard with Espresso and rolling through the vineyards of Italy was almost irresistible. She could already imagine them eating Espresso's favourite dessert _gelato alla nocciola con panna montata_ and tasting the sweet wine as they watched the sunsets. It felt so tantalisingly close, and yet, so far. For there was the races to attend to first. And then there was the tricky subject of Lincoln and his unexpected arrival. Dinah was right: if she wanted to put the whole thing to rest, she had to confront it head on.

She didn't know how to broach the subject, but she knew she had to.

Ashley took a deep breath. "I see we have some new competition this year," she distractedly fidgeted with the napkin in her hands, her eyes lowered.

"Ah, sì, the diesel. We can beat him easy. Either that, or I'm pretty sure Greaseball will be quick to grind him into the ground. Can't have another diesel sharing his spotlight."

Oh, how Ashley wanted to share that confidence. But she knew Lincoln, and he was definitely not a quitter.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that. Lincoln always has a few tricks up his sleeve."

Espresso shot the smoking car a look of astonishment. He had heard that name before. "You mean that diesel…?"

Ashley nodded with a grimace. "Yeah, that's my ex."

* * *

 _*gelato alla nocciola con panna montata - hazelnut ice cream with whipped cream._

 _I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please feel free to review or send me a PM with your comments._


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read, review or send me feedback so far, it's appreciated!_

* * *

"C'mon, Ash! We're going to be late!"

A teenage Ashley rolled her eyes as she applied the finishing touch of red lipstick. She hated nothing more than being rushed, especially when she was applying make-up. As she sat back to admire herself in the mirror, she realised just how much older she looked. Her big, brown eyes, wide-set and doe-like, were accentuated with a flash of purple glitter eyeshadow and black eyeliner, her plump cheeks subtly blushed pink and dusted with flecks of gold glitter. Her hair had been neatly braided around her smoke stack. Most trains were lead to believe Ashley was a few years younger than her sixteen years due to her baby-faced features, and this only made her more determined to look older for the party.

Ashley and her two best friends, Buffy and Dinah, had been invited to one of the most popular coach's sixteenth birthday party. Sorelle, who was training to be a horse car, had spoken to Ashley a few times in class and had kindly slipped her an invite and said she could bring along a couple of friends. She had appreciated the kind gesture and had not hesitated to ask along Buffy and Dinah, who had agreed without hesitation. Dinah needed no encouragement as she knew Greaseball, her current crush, was going. Buffy was also easily convinced with the mention of alcohol.

Clearly growing impatient, Buffy whipped her head around the door into Ashley's room, giving her a scowl. "What's taking you so long?" she said, exasperatedly.

Ashley shook her head and gave a laugh as she returned her lipstick to her cosmetic bag. "Take a chill pill, Buff. I'm almost ready."

She watched in the mirror as Buffy rolled over to join her at the dressing table and offered up her hip flask. "You better get drinking now sugar or you'll have a whole lotta catching up to do later!" she smirked, giving a wink.

Ashley hesitantly took the flask, giving her friend a wary glance. Up until now, she had very little experience when it came to drink, and she didn't trust Buffy to not get her drunk on some questionable alcohol.

"It's only vodka, hun," nudged Buffy. "It's not going to kill you!"

Without another thought, Ashley took a swig. She savoured the warm, comforting sensation that suddenly spread in her stomach as she took another large gulp. Buffy swiftly snatched it back. "Alright, save some for me!"

"Come on, you two!" cried Dinah from the hallway, before she came into view in the doorway, hands on hips. "You both look pretty! Now, let's go before we all miss the party!"

* * *

The party was already in full swing by the time they arrived. Loud, thumping music blared from a stereo in the corner, the shed throbbing and pulsing to the beat as the teenage trains danced along or mingled in their groups. Sorelle, the host, was quick to seek them out.

"Hey girls! So glad you could make it!" she shouted over the music, her face bright with a genuine smile.

She was petite, with black curly hair and big brown eyes. Her parents had reluctantly allowed Sorelle to have a party, as long as it was not in the house, so she had decided to convert the family's barn into a party base. The trio presented their gifts to the birthday girl, who accepted them gratefully. Placing the presents in the corner where a huge pile had accumulated, Sorelle proceeded to hand them bright red cocktails and shared a toast before she delved back into the crowd. As the night went on, Ashley, Buffy and Dinah occasionally found themselves mingling with some of the other trains who they happened to bump into, but mostly stuck together, dancing and giggling. Buffy would occasionally disappear in search of more drink to top up her flask, the contents of which she would try to sneakily pour into their drinks to "spice things up". Dinah would also intermittently slip away to flirt with Greaseball but would eventually get bored of his "crew chit-chat" and return to dance once more. Before long, Ashley was tipsy, but she didn't care.

As she stumbled towards the bathroom later in the evening, her eye caught a familiar face hanging out with Greaseball and some of his gang. She watched as the train lifted his head, and their eyes met. The diesel smiled and excused himself from the group and made his way toward her.

It was then she realised she hadn't seen Lincoln since Hector's funeral.

* * *

The day of the funeral had taken Ashley by surprise. On such a sombre day, she had expected to wake to a grey and gloomy affair with rain and dull clouds lurking in the sky. Instead, the sun shone gloriously bright on that spring day and the birds sang and flew above the colourful fields in bloom. It was almost as if the day was trying to encourage the mourners to celebrate the short life Hector had led by making the day so beautiful. Ashley, dressed in the black dress that she swore she'd never wear again, had silently rolled down the church aisle and slid into a pew with her mother, her hands in her lap, her eyes cast down to the ground.

"Is that a friend of yours, sweetie?" her mother leaned in to whisper in her ear.

Ashley hesitantly looked up to follow her mother's gaze. Lincoln had slid into the pew opposite and gave her a solemn wave. She raised her hand and returned the gesture, unsmiling, before swiftly burying her head into her mother's shoulder.

The service seemed to last hours. Ashley's eyes were drawn to an older steam train near the front of the church, with grey hair and glasses, similar to Hector's. She noticed he was clutching a dusty red hat as he sobbed, consumed in grief. A lump formed in Ashley's throat.

 _My_ _Grandpa was one of the old mine steamers. He still tells me all the stories, and he's been teaching me the songs the miner's used to sing._

She tore her eyes away as she felt the tears well in her eyes, the heavy feeling in her chest beginning to ache.

As the ceremony concluded, Ashley approached the front of the church where Hector's family received the procession of mourners. She stood in front of his grandfather and made herself look him in the eye.

"I'm sorry about Hector. He mentioned you a lot. He was very fond of you."

Then, she turned to face Lincoln behind her, and she gave a nod.

 _I won't tell if you don't._

* * *

Now, as Ashley watched Lincoln approach, she noted he really hadn't changed all that much. His round, boyish face had matured and moulded into that of a man's, with a chiselled jaw and the hint of stubble on his chin. His piercing blue eyes hadn't lost their brightness, and he still maintained his jet black hair in the sleeked back style. He gave a flash of a smile that revealed perfect pearly white teeth. As he drew closer, Ashley felt the presence of her two friends as Buffy and Dinah both appeared by her side, out of curiosity or protectiveness she did not know. She saw Lincoln raise an eyebrow at the two coaches that now flanked her, before giving her his full attention.

Ashley surprised herself by speaking first. "You haven't changed one bit," she laughed, shaking her head as she looked him up and down. The alcohol had given her more confidence.

Lincoln simply shrugged. "I could say the same for you. Wanna catch up over a drink?"

But before she could say anything, Ashley felt the firm tug on her couplers as Buffy tried to send her a subtle message. Buffy was always on the defence when it came to her friends; like a lioness, wary and cautious. She clearly wanted time to check this stranger out more. Lincoln was quick to notice Ashley's hesitation and once again scrutinised her friends, realising they were the reason she was holding back.

"What are they, your entourage?" he folded his arms, giving a sniff of mockery. "What does a guy have to do to get a girl alone?"

Ashley sighed and addressed the two coaches. This was a good a time as any to introduce them. "Buffy, Dinah, this is Lincoln. We were friends back at elementary school."

Lincoln gave them both a polite nod, which both the coaches returned. Ashley felt Buffy relax her grip, but Ashley could see she was still eyeing the diesel up warily.

Finally, Dinah spoke up. "You're friends with Greaseball, aren't you?"

"I am, indeed. Me and GB go way back," Lincoln grinned. "I thought I recognised you from earlier."

Dinah visibly blushed. Lincoln's gaze fell back onto Ashley. He cocked his head towards the temporary bar, taking the lead.

"Shall we?"

Ashley couldn't resist. She knew she had already consumed quite a lot of alcohol, more than she was used to, but it made her feel so grown-up and she didn't want Lincoln to think she was boring. As she allowed Lincoln to lead her away, she cast a glance back at her two friends, who could only stand and give a look of bemusement.

Lincoln ordered himself a beer and Ashley a sweet cocktail from the young, pretty bar car who was mixing drinks, and they found a quiet corner of the room to chat, Lincoln casually leaning against a pillar as he sipped his drink.

"So, where have you been all this time?" Ashley asked curiously, taking a sip of her cocktail, and enjoying the fruity sweetness as it touched her lips.

Lincoln simply shrugged. "Here, there and everywhere. I'm currently based out at a yard in Tennessee. When Sorelle, being my cousin, sent me an invite to her party, I thought it would be a fine opportunity to catch up with Greaseball and the fellas. To be honest, I was also hoping you'd be here."

Ashley cast her eyes to the ground as she felt her cheeks blush.

"After what happened…I couldn't stay. We were just kids back then and we didn't really know any different but…it just didn't feel right to stay. I convinced my parents to let me stay out of state with my aunt and uncle for a while to begin with." Lincoln took another sip of his beer, his eyes glassing over. "Truth is, I never really forgave myself."

In that moment, Ashley felt a surge of sympathy for Lincoln. She knew what it felt like, living with the guilt weighing heavily inside of her, often surfacing after months of lying dormant, bringing a fresh wave of anxiety and a niggling worry that someone would find out what they'd done.

"It's in the past, I guess. There's nothing for it but to keep moving forward and try and make amends," she bit her lip as her finger traced the rim of her glass. "As you say, we were just kids. Right?"

Lincoln seemed to find comfort in that and gave a grin. He lifted his drink in a toast, as if to mark them finding peace between one another, before clinking glasses with hers. "Right."

Ashley gave a reassuring smile before downing the rest of her cocktail. She could feel the itch of a nicotine break coming on. She cocked her head towards the door. "Come out with me for a minute?"

As Ashley stepped out into the cool, fresh evening air, she suddenly felt dizzy and held out a hand against the wall to steady herself. Maybe she had had too much to drink… She fumbled clumsily for her matches and a cigarette; Lincoln leaned against the wooden wall of the barn, watching her with amusement. As she proceeded to light up, her hands shaky and almost missing the cigarette altogether, she noted Lincoln rose an eyebrow.

"You don't mind, do you?" she asked, aware not everybody appreciated the smell of smoke.

Lincoln shook his head vigorously, as if he'd been in a daze. "No, no, not at all! I just…didn't realise you smoked, that's all!"

Ashley grinned, taking a drag. "I'm training to be a smoking car. Cigarettes kind of come with the job." She gave a nervous laugh, hoping Lincoln didn't find it off-putting.

They stood in silence for a few minutes as Ashley finished her cigarette. As she extinguished it, tossing it into the long grass, Lincoln moved in close.

"I've missed you," he said, gently tracing a finger down her cheek.

Before she knew it, his lips were brushing hers in a hot, fiery kiss. Taking her by surprise, she drew back, her heart fluttering in her chest. How could she be kissing the guy she'd idolised as a kid? But she found herself being drawn back to him. When they kissed again, this time slow and soft, Ashley felt like the world around them just faded away. She could taste the minty freshness on his breath, felt his hands caress her skin, venturing over her curves. He clearly had experience. She felt clumsy, not knowing where to place her hands, but eventually found them comfortably hooked around his neck as she leaned into his chest.

For a moment, they simply enjoyed the warmth of each other's bodies being close together before Ashley's mind turned back to Dinah and Buffy, and she drew back. She held his hands, unable to stop the smile that had spread across her face. She was fizzing with excitement. She had never felt so exhilarated, so deliriously happy. Is this what love felt like?

"I better go," she said sadly, reluctant to leave. "Buffy and Dinah will be wondering where I am."

Lincoln gently stroked her hair, pulling her back in, his hands resting on her waist. "They'll be fine. Stay a little longer."

She allowed him to kiss her again before she pushed herself away, giggling. "I can't." She shook her head, hoping he'd understand. "They are staying at mine tonight. I really should be going."

Lincoln sighed, but the smile he flashed at her was enough. She felt him slip something into the pocket of her dress as he gave a wink. "I'd like to see you again."

Ashley blushed. "When do you go back to Tennessee?"

Lincoln smirked. "I might not go back at all. I could always see about arranging a transfer to somewhere closer." He gave another suggestive wink.

At that, he gave her one final kiss on the cheek before she turned to leave.

Wait until Buffy and Dinah heard all about this!

* * *

By the time Ashley and the girls returned back to her house, they were in fits of laughter, giddy with all the alcohol they had drunk. Ashley shushed them as she led them into her bedroom before closing the door. She prayed her mother hadn't heard them; they had meant to be back hours ago. Buffy and Dinah jumped excitedly onto her bed, sitting cross-legged like children, eager to hear all the details of her fling with Lincoln.

"Come on, Ash! Tell us!" Dinah begged.

Ashley bit her lip teasingly, a Cheshire-cat like grin spreading over her face. "We kind of…kissed?"

A squeal emanated from the pair.

"What was he like?" Buffy asked, clamouring for more detail.

But then Ashley remembered he'd slipped something in her pocket. As she rummaged, she found a slip of paper with a set of numbers on it.

A phone number.

Ashley couldn't contain her excitement. She actually had a boyfriend.

* * *

 _Notes:_  
 _*Sorelle is one of my OCs. Her name is derived from the word "sorell" which is a term given to a horse with a copper-coloured coat._

 _I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please feel free to review or send me a PM with your comments._


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: So, this chapter took a little longer than expected to pull together but I got there in the end! We've reached the practice races, but things definitely don't go so smoothly! In this chapter, I also introduce a shiny new OC, Serena.  
_

 _Thank you again to those who have been reading, reviewing and sending comments my way. You all make my day! Enjoy!_

* * *

As she slammed off her alarm clock, Ashley decided she didn't want to face the day ahead. She groaned and delved deeper under the refuge of bed covers, her stomach tying in knots as she thought of all the possible scenarios that could pan out on the first day of training. All of them made her feel sick. No matter how much she wanted to be able to confront Lincoln, she just couldn't bring herself to think about it. She kept trying to convince herself that maybe, just maybe, if she avoided him for long enough, he would just disappear, forget all about her.

She rolled over and allowed Espresso to draw her close, feeling her body fit perfectly against his: like they were truly made for each other.

"What's the matter mi amore?" questioned the Italian, as he gently stroked her hair.

After breakfast at the diner yesterday, Ashley had reluctantly left Espresso for work. All day, she had been distracted and listless, her mind constantly straying to thoughts of Lincoln's presence at the yard. Returning late, she had invited Espresso to stay over at her depot. She had found herself longing for his company; the idea of sleeping alone in the darkness with only her torrent of worrying thoughts for company had seemed unbearable. Espresso had been so understanding, not expecting a night of passion whilst she relived her past, but seemed content to simply lie by her side, with her arms wrapped gently around her for comfort.

"I don't want to see him," she murmured, pulling the covers close to her chest as she clamped her eyes shut.

"I'll be right by your side all day," Espresso said, his voice soothing. "Who knows? Maybe my very presence will be enough to scare him off!"

Ashley gave a small laugh. The reassurance from Espresso was welcomed, and she found comfort in the knowledge that there would be no opportunity for Lincoln to catch her alone whilst they were training at the racetrack. Seeing her in the company of another male train would perhaps be enough of a deterrent. She relaxed into the bed once more. After a few moments, she felt Espresso lean in close and tenderly kiss her forehead.

"Just think, in a couple of weeks we'll be miles away from here."

The thought brought a smile to Ashley's face, and she closed her eyes for a few more moments, thinking only of the warm sun on her skin and the taste of sweet gelato, her worries a million miles away.

* * *

So, this was where history was made. Lincoln cast his blue eyes over the vast, infamous racetrack in all its glory where, last year, Greaseball had suffered a crushing defeat to a young, inexperienced steamer. It was where champions were made, where the most famous of locomotives had become heroes. Now, Lincoln was determined to be hailed as this year's champion and finally have his name amongst some of the finest, most decorated racers in history.

He had purposefully rolled down to the track early, well before any of the other competitors were due to arrive. He wanted to enjoy the peace before the chaos: take the time to familiarise himself with the track layout and to collect his thoughts, with no interruptions or distractions. As he looked towards the starting line, he could almost here the crowd chanting his name, spurring him on…

"Lookin' for a race partner, diesel?"

The voice caught Lincoln off guard, and he whipped around, his grip firmly on the railings. He was surprised to meet the eyes of a young coach – barely out of her teens if her short dress was anything to go by – batting her eyelashes at him and tossing back her tumbling blonde curls.

"It's Lincoln, right?" she smiled, leaning forward casually against the brick wall opposite him. "I'm Serena." He wondered just how long she had been there, watching him.

Lincoln scrutinised her, giving a smirk to try and mask the laugh he was trying to suppress as he did. She looked like she would burst into tears if she broke a nail, never mind face the unforgiving way of racing. She wouldn't last ten seconds on the track. The lack of conviction in her voice also made him think she too realised this and had no real intentions of racing, but he decided to play along.

"Well, uh, not exactly," he shrugged. "You see, I came here to race with an old friend. You know, Ashley?"

"The smoking car?" the first class coach raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't she race with that fine Italian train?"

Lincoln watched as she swooned a little at the thought of Ashley's partner, giving a childish giggle. "I'm so jealous; he's so handsome!"

Espresso. Lincoln clenched his jaw as he recalled the overly-cheerful Italian who had spent a good part of their journey proclaiming his love to his "dearly beloved" that he couldn't wait to be reunited with. He also hadn't failed to notice Ashley's absence around the yard, how she had seemingly been evading him since he arrived. Now at least, he knew why. He had known they'd been paired as race partners, but the fact the pair were also romantically involved made him grit his teeth. At the thought of her in the company of Espresso, he felt anger start to bubble within. Then, he remembered that Serena was watching his reaction, and he forced himself to push it aside. This was not the time, not the place. Instead, he took a deep breath and allowed his shoulders to slump.

"Oh, she never told me. I've come all of this way for nothing then…"

Seeing how downcast the diesel had become, Serena went quiet. She hoisted herself onto the nearby wall, letting her legs swing, her eyes shining with curiosity.

"Have you known Ashley a long time then?" She leaned forward, eager for more.

"Ashley and I have been friends since we were kids," Lincoln grinned, gazing up at the cloudless sky thoughtfully. "We grew up together. Then, I moved out of town, and I guess we just lost touch as we got older. When I found out she was here, I jumped at the chance to see her again. I just wanted to race with her again, just like old times."

"You were race partners?" Serena implored.

Lincoln nodded. "When we were younger, yeah. Nothing serious, of course." Lincoln laughed, waving a hand dismissively. "We used to always say that one day we'd race in a big championship together." He averted his eyes to the ground. "But I guess I'm too late."

Serena bit her lip, bowing her head as she distractedly inspected her nails, unsure of what to say to console the older train. Then, she lifted her head.

"Maybe you just need to prove to her that she's made a mistake going with the Italian?"

A smirk spread across Lincoln's face. He had the perfect idea.

* * *

"Do you think he's changed?"

It was a question that had been burning away at Ashley since she'd caught sight of Lincoln arriving at the yard, and she had found herself seriously questioning herself now as she sat at one of the table booths at Dinah's diner. She had arranged to meet Dinah, Buffy, Pearl and the new girl Serena before their training session, desperate to get the question off her chest and get their views. Espresso had only been satisfied at leaving her side when he saw she was surrounded by her girlfriends and had arranged to meet her back at the diner in half an hour.

"Highly unlikely," Buffy said drily, distractedly running her finger around the rim of her lemonade glass.

Beside her, Dinah gave her a sharp nudge. "Now, now, Buffy!" she admonished. "Give him a chance! It has been years after all!"

Her retort was met by a disbelieving look, before Buffy rolled her eyes. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Serena folded her arms. "He seemed really downhearted when he heard that you already had a race partner."

At that, Ashley snapped her head up. "He did?"

"You spoke with that jerk?" Buffy piped up incredulously, almost leaping out of her seat.

The pair's reactions made Serena shrink back in her seat, taken aback. Ashley gave a scowl at Buffy across the table before turning to Serena.

"Sorry, Serena. It's just…I didn't imagine he would care that much."

Serena nodded her head vigorously, her blonde curls bouncing. "He seemed pretty upset. He said that you used to be good friends, that he'd come all this way just to see you. He had been hoping to race with you."

"Well, what a shame that Ash is already taken," Buffy retorted, sarcastically. "Poor Lincoln will just have to sit on the sidelines and watch.:

"Well uh, that's not exactly true…" The young coach cast her eyes down to her hands, where they rested in her lap.

Buffy's eyes grew wide in realisation, already knowing what Serena was implying. Dinah and Pearl exchanged worried glances. Serena was a pretty first class coach. Hailing from Los Angeles, she was more accustomed to Burkin bags and manicures than rough and tough racing

"Well, he seemed so upset," blurted Serena, feeling uncomfortable in the silence. "I…I kind of offered to be his race partner…"

No. Ashley froze, her stomach clenching at the words. That familiar feeling of dread began to seep back, feeling the tight knot of nerves grow in her stomach, like a ball of elastic bands. She thought of Serena, the youngest and most vulnerable of the coaches, racing with Lincoln, and all she could think about was the first class coach getting hurt. Lincoln was powerful and strong: not exactly an ideal partner for a first-time racer. She noted how even Dinah could not conceal her discomfort as she pulled anxiously on her blue skirt and shifted in her seat.

"You have to tell him that you've changed your mind," Buffy said firmly to Serena. But keeping her eyes on Ashley. It was like she was telepathically trying to calm her: _I've got this_.

Serena raised an eyebrow, clearly baffled. "Why would I do that? I want to race!"

"Serena, hon," Dinah reached across the table to rest a reassuring hand on the younger girl's, sensing she was growing upset. "It's not that we don't want you to race. You see…" she took a second to select her words carefully. "There have been things that have happened in the past that we'd rather not repeat…"

Serena snorted. "Just because I'm young, doesn't mean I can't look after myself! I've been taking some self-defense classes at the gym, so if any of those Nationals even thinks about knocking me, they'll have another thing coming! Oh, and you don't have to worry about a runaway," Serena cast a sympathetic look at Pearl, "My coach taught me how to brake safely in case I get accidentally uncoupled."

The three coaches were rendered speechless. For a young coach, Serena had clearly put in more prep than they would have expected. Before any of them could find the words to say anything else, Serena leapt out of her seat, glancing at her clock on the wall.

"Oh, is that the time? Better run! I promised Link I'd meet him for some healthy smoothies so that he can carb up before training! Catch y'all later, girls!"

With a wink, Serena sauntered out of the diner. Ashley could only watch her leave in disdain.

Not missing her expression, Buffy scooted over and threw an arm around her shoulder. "Don't let him intimidate you, Ash. You and Espresso have ever chance of winning, even with him in the races."

"I think Greaseball will have a lot to say too! He'll sort him out!" winked Dinah.

But despite her friends' reassurances, Ashley couldn't shake the horrible fear that was growing in her chest.

So, Lincoln was out for glory, picking her friend as his partner. Who knew what the race would bring?

* * *

Espresso arrived sharp at the diner to collect Ashley prior to their first training circuit. He was quick to notice her quietness as they reached the track sidelines, and he halted in his tracks, turning to face her.

"What's the matter? You are awfully quiet. Are you nervous about the races?

"Lincoln is going to race," Ashley said gravely, unable to look Espresso in the eyes as she blinked away tears. Her next words of confession were barely a whisper. "I'm scared, Espresso."

It was true. The races were always fierce and often vicious; a typical national grand final was seen as boring if it didn't have at least one derailment and several clashes between the Nationals. With Lincoln in the mix, it would be even more unpredictable. She had always been concerned about her partner when racing, but now Lincoln was involved, she was even more fearful for him. And not just her Italian sweetheart, but her friends too.

After all, she had no idea what Lincoln was up to.

* * *

"All trains to your tracks!" Control heralded the start of the first round of training sessions.

Each competitor and their partner was announced with much fanfare and enthusiasm from the trains who had gathered to watch: Greaseball and Dinah, Rusty and Pearl, Espresso and Ashley, Bobo and Buffy, and newcomers Lincoln and Serena. As they each took their place on the tracks, Buffy exchanged a reassuring smile with Ashley. She noted how the smoker looked to each of her friends in turn before Ashley's gaze trailed over to Serena and caught the eye of Lincoln. The diesel flashed a smile, only for her to turn her head away.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one….Trains gone!"

The trains launched forward, each determined to get into a good position for a head start on their training session. After all, this was when each of the racers had the chance to make their first impressions by taunting their competition and demonstrating they were forces not to be reckoned with. Not surprisingly, Greaseball pushed ahead in an attempt to redeem himself after last year's loss, followed closely by Rusty. Bobo and Espresso maintained a steady pacing together, trying to keep Lincoln at bay.

As they veered around the first bend, Buffy noted Lincoln propelling himself ahead, trying to cut them off at the corner for advantage. She watched as he suddenly swerved drastically and Buffy smirked: serves him right for trying to go so fast. As Bobo adapted his pace to try and catch up, there was a sudden loud clang and a squeal as Bobo's front wheel began to spin uncontrollably. The sudden violent burst sent Bobo careering out of control down the hill, brakes screeching and sparks flying from his damaged wheel.

Buffy could only hear her heart pounding in her chest as they accelerated faster down the slope. She could feel herself losing grip of Bobo's couplers, her hands throbbing as she clung on for dear life. She braced herself for the heavy fall, clamping her eyes shut.

The fall didn't come. She was taken by surprise as she felt herself being caught by her belt, lifted up and set back on the track. She opened her eyes and watched, wide-eyed and dumbfounded, as Lincoln whizzed past, flashing a smile and a wink. He zipped back to the gaping Serena, who effortlessly reconnected with her partner.

"Buffy! Are you ok?"

Ashley disconnected from Espresso and raced to join her side, all the while Buffy still staring to where Lincoln had been.

"Did he really just do that?"

* * *

Buffy could only look on helplessly as an unconscious Bobo was pulled from the pit he'd ultimately crashed and fallen into by the repair trucks, all the while the race marshals observed from a distance. The French train was battered and bruised, his front right wheel twisted and mangled. She felt Ashley place a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I hope they give him some strong painkillers." Buffy said, not taking her eyes off the French train as the repair trucks towed him to the garage. She shivered. "Just think, that could have been me too. I'm gonna bake him his favourite coconut cake for when he wakes up."

Ashley gave a weak smile. "I'm sure he'd like that," she reassured.

Buffy tried to return the smile. She was aware she was shaking, no doubt from shock, and she noted by Ashley's concerned expression that she noticed this too.

Ashley instinctively pulled her into a warm hug. "I'm sure Bobo will be just fine," she reassured.

"Well, I guess it could have been worse," shrugged Buffy, casting her eyes toward Lincoln over by the finishing line as he was surrounded by the other trains who had witnessed the action unfold. "I could have been on the scrapheap if it wasn't for him."

Ashley cocked her head toward the commotion. "Shall we go and find out what all the fuss is about?"

As the pair approached the crowd, they saw Lincoln brandishing a large sharp nail as he addressed the trains. "Either the track wasn't inspected before the race or your race marshals didn't do a very good job."

Ruhrgold, the German train, rolled forward. "If you've only come to criticise, head back to your own yard!"

Several jeers of support echoed in the crowd.

Lincoln raised his hands in mock surrender. "I'm not criticising your precious racecourse! All I'm saying is that crash could have been easily prevented."

"The track was thoroughly checked before the race," boomed one of the race marshals, his arms folded. "The nail must have fallen onto the track during the race."

Lincoln simply rolled his eyes. "Well, perhaps you better make sure the track is fully monitored tomorrow when we have the re-run then."

The race marshal growled, close to losing his temper with the arrogant diesel. Lincoln simply flashed him a baleful look when his back was finally turned.

"I'll go and report the nail to Control," Greaseball volunteered, diffusing the tension. "I'm sure he'll call in the maintenance trucks to inspect the race track to make sure it's safe for tomorrow."

With that settled, the trains went their separate ways, leaving Lincoln and Serena alone.

* * *

"That was really brave what you did back there," Serena gushed, tossing back her blonde curls.

Lincoln grinned at the praise, waving a hand dismissively. "Ah, it was nothing. Besides, I didn't want to see Buffy get hurt." He cast his eyes over towards Ashley. "She's good friends with Ash."

He noticed Serena tilting her head, seeing the forlorn look in his eyes as he stared after the love-struck couple.

"You're such a good friend to her, Link. She doesn't realise how lucky she is."

Lincoln watched as Ashley kissed Espresso before rolling off, hand in hand, following the rest of the Nationals back to the depots. Seeing her with the Italian was like a punch to the stomach. He held dear so many fond memories with her: moments they had shared together that he kept safe in his head. He remembered their first date, when he'd gone to a huge effort to look his best only to get caught in a freak rain storm, soaking him through, as he rolled up to her house to collect her. She had burst out laughing and, as he profusely apologised, she pushed him back out into the pouring rain and kissed him, the two of them giggling. He recalled the way her eyes had lit up as she had opened his birthday gift to her: a pretty wooden jewellery box that had caught her eye in a shop window. They had passed that shop window on many an occasion and, every time, Ashley would gaze in hopefully, willing the box to still be there, even though she couldn't afford it. Lincoln had worked tirelessly to save up the money and bought the jewellery box, wrapping it carefully with a pretty bow. Unwrapping the box, she had gasped in delight and had thrown her arms around him, tears welling in her eyes. How he wished he could turn back time, relive those precious times with her again.

Did she think of these thing? When she lay in bed, struggling to sleep, did these memories come flooding back to her?

Lincoln turned his back to Serena to hide the tears in his eyes.

* * *

 _I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please feel free to review or send me a PM with your comments._


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note: So, things are about to get tricky for Ashley and she's got some serious decisions to make! Who says you should make life easy for these trains? xD As always, thank you to each and every one of you who continues to read, review and send me comments. Enjoy!_

* * *

As it grew dark, Ashley allowed Espresso to accompany her back to her depot for the evening, rolling hand in hand in amiable silence.

"Hey, 'Spress!"

A booming, confident voice shouted from behind them, making them spin around, stopping in their tracks. The Nationals had gathered together, Ruhrgold in the centre, each armed with a bottle of beer and still energised from the race earlier, probably having been thrown out of Dinah's diner for being too loud and rambunctious. No doubt they wanted to debate tactics against their new competition.

"Go and have some fun," Ashley urged with a smile, aware Espresso had spent the majority of his time with her and not socialising with his friends. "I'll be alright, don't worry about me."

The Italian seemed torn, looking between her and the Nationals. "But you'll be on your own."

Ashley gave a shrug. "I'm on my own when you aren't here, remember?"

Espresso bit his lip and she gave him a gentle nudge towards the group in reassurance. "I'll be fine, 'Spress. It's only one night. I'll meet you at the track tomorrow at nine."

At that, she planted a tender kiss on his cheek and stood as he rolled towards his friends, the group cheering and passing him a bottle of beer.

She continued the route home, the yard dimly lit and quiet. Most of the trains had gone to Dinah's diner, but she hadn't been in the mood to join and had been satisfied with returning to the peace of her depot with Espresso. Suddenly being alone, she felt slightly nervous and on-edge: vulnerable and exposed out in the open. The day's events had made her jittery. She spurred herself onward and breathed a sigh of relief when her depot finally came into view. Home at last.

As she approached, however, something made her stop in her tracks. Had she caught the movement of a shadow in her peripheral vision or was she just tired? When she turned around, all was silent. _You're overthinking, there is no one here._

As she turned back toward the door to her shed, she gasped as a familiar face emerged from the gloom.

"Lincoln," she breathed.

* * *

Seeing her immediately tense, braced as if in defence, Lincoln tried to diffuse the situation and put up his hands. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

She took a few steps back, wide-eyed like a cornered animal. It made his heart wrench a little: she was genuinely scared of him. He knew he needed to think fast, to think of how to gain her trust, make her feel more at ease.

"Long time, no see, right? How's your mom keeping?"

Ashley looked him up and down warily, before dipping her eyes and giving a small shrug. "She's OK," she mumbled. "She writes every now and then."

When she lifted her eyes to him again, she bit her lip. "How's Sorelle?"

"Yeah, she's good. The kids keep her on her toe-stops, y'know?" he grinned, trying to keep things casual and light. "Actually, she wanted to invite you to her daughter's birthday party next month, but she's lost your number."

Ashley sniffed, her face now hard and cold. "Well, you can give me her number and I'll call her myself. Tomorrow."

She had grown hostile. He was desperate to tell her that he never got over her and that he can't bear seeing her with that Italian train, he needed to tread lightly. One wrong word and he would blow his chance. And that was something he could not afford. He decided to change the topic.

"Is Buffy alright? She must have been shaken…I couldn't believe it when I heard Bobo's wheel explode like that! It all happened so fast."

At the mention of her friend, the smoking car softened slightly. "She's fine, but yeah, a little shaken, understandably."

She hesitated, as if considering what to say, before letting out a sigh and looking him in the eyes. "Thank you, for what you did."

It was begrudging, but it was still a show of gratification. Lincoln would take anything.

"Hey, remember when we were kids and she decided to do The Big Ridge challenge? She was always the tearaway. Her mom always swore that Buffy was the reason she went prematurely gray."

But the joke fell flat. She remained frosty. He watched as she delved into her dress pocket to retrieve a match and cigarette and proceeded to lit up, taking a long drag before blowing the smoke into his face.

"Why are you here, Lincoln?" she demanded. "Why did you come to the yard?"

Lincoln shook his head. Honest to Starlight, she was hard to crack. "I just wanted to talk."

"Well, we've talked. Now, please move away from my door."

Ashley fidgeted with her lit cigarette, as if warning him that she could easily use it against him. When he didn't move, Ashley placed a hand on her hip. She'd gained some confidence. Lincoln sighed. At least the ice was out of her voice and it had grown softer.

"Look Lincoln, I'm paired with Espresso. We're headed out to his hometown in a couple of weeks, in fact. Besides, you have Serena. She seems to really like you."

He felt that familiar twinge in his stomach as she mentioned Espresso, how they were heading on vacation together. And Serena. He grimaced slightly.

"It's not like that," he insisted. "We've only just met."

Ashley shook her head. "You should keep your promises. You are paired with her, and I am paired with Espresso. Simple."

"You're right," he bowed his head. "I'm sorry."

Deflated and defeated, Lincoln sagged his shoulders. He had to try and salvage this. He stepped aside to allow her to move towards the door and turned around as she made a swift grab for the doorknob.

"Hey, can I buy you and Espresso lunch tomorrow after training? It'll sort of be a double date: you and the Italian, me and Serena."

Ashley froze and blinked, turning around to face him. "What?"

"Look, when we were together, it was around the time my parents were going through a divorce. It really messed me up, seeing them arguing and fighting all the time over money, my brothers, the house…and I took it out on you. I know that was very wrong. But it was years ago, Ash. I'm not a dumb, angry teenager anymore. I can't undo what I have done but, if you'd let me, I'd like to apologise, makes it up to you. So, what do you say? A friendly lunch, that's all."

How he remembered that well. Back then, he had taken refuge at Sorelle's more times than not to escape the constant feuds at home. They had made him angry and frustrated, and he'd felt trapped sitting on his bed in his room, listening as his parents screamed at one another, hearing a smash of a glass and the slam of the door. He'd felt anxious and isolated in his own home. And that troublesome teen he had been had taken all his emotions out on the one carriage who had cared about him and loved him. In the end, looking back now, he had been just as bad as his parents.

He held his breath, desperate for her to give him a chance. But her response delivered a blow.

"I'll speak to Espresso about it."

And that was that. She was inside her shed in a flash, the hurried lock of the door making his heart wrench.

Well, that hadn't exactly gone to plan. Despondent, Lincoln retreated from Ashley's shed and made the short walk back to his temporary accommodation, all the while mulling everything over in his head. It hurt him how infatuated she was with Espresso. He knew a few things about her partner from the newspaper reports and various TV interviews from last year's race coverage. Ashley didn't need a stuffy, luxury train who relied on electricity to run, who would try and show off by whisking her away to a foreign land where she couldn't even speak the language. What she really needed was a home-grown man who truly understood her, who didn't need no stinkin' power lines to function, and who build her children she could be proud off and who would go on to be champions themselves.

He cast his mind to tomorrow's race. He may be racing with Serena, but come race night he would resolve to make sure Ashley only had eyes for a red-white-and-blue engine instead of that Italian electric meatball.

He would stop at nothing to get her back.

* * *

Ashley let out a huge sigh of relief as she sank to the floor, her back hard against the door, burying her face in her hands. She was overwhelmed, unable to decide what to do. Could she really trust him again?

The divorce. She remembered it well. It had been undoubtedly ugly and she had sympathised with Lincoln at the time. It can't have been easy living under the same room as two parents who were always going between reconciliation and bitter fights.

 _No, stop it! You can't keep making excuses for what he did to you! You were a naïve girl back then, even as a child, believing he was a hero: the good guy who was so remorseful after Hector's death, who had comforted you. Then as a teen, showed what she thought love was. But look where that got me…_

But could he change? Could that troubled teenager who grew up in a dysfunctional family environment really have matured into a man who understood his wrongdoings?

She shook her head. She couldn't possibly give him this chance to "rectify" the damage he had done before. Because doing that would give her hope that "they" could work, and they couldn't, because she loved Espresso. And yet…

Her mind drifted back to Hector, all those years ago. "I won't tell if you don't". Lincoln was the keeper of their little secret – nobody could ever know what they did. Ashley gulped. If she didn't play her part, would he possibly use the secret against her? The very thought made her blood run cold. There was no way Espresso could find that out. And what about Dinah, Buffy and Pearl? If they ever found out, they would abandon her. She couldn't possibly lose the friends who had kept her grounded and had helped her through some of her darkest hours.

Her heart began to pound as panic and paranoia seeped in, making it suddenly feel like the walls of her shed were closing in around her. The pressure on her was so intense, she couldn't afford to mess this up. But what was she to do? She didn't want to double date this guy and betray Espresso, but she also didn't want to risk Lincoln divulging the mine incident. Tears filled her eyes.

No matter what she decided, there would be consequences.

How could she choose?

* * *

 _I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please feel free to review or send me a PM with your comments._


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